ney: One Caregiver’s Perspective

Written by Chris Childress, brain cancer survivor and caregiver to Daughter Allie Montgomery

My prayer life has helped me navigate my own brain tumor journey, but it has also helped me navigate the journey of having a child with a brain tumor diagnosis.  While I understand we don’t all share the same religious or spiritual belief, I can only speak to my own and how it has been integrated into my life.

Because Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”,  I believe that God has created a way for each of us to know Him through a relationship with his son Jesus Christ which can be experienced when we invite him into our lives and surrender to him as Lord.  So, my spiritual or religious belief hinges on a relationship more than anything.  Without dialogue it’s difficult for me to regard any relationship as meaningful or real.  And, since this is the most important relationship to me, I lean heavily into it and that just naturally leads to prayer.  In fact, this relationship is so important to me that I find it painfully difficult to live my life without an ongoing conversation (i.e., prayer) with God.  My prayer life includes most day-to-day events such as job, marriage, family and of course health.  It’s not just something I do when life is difficult, my prayer life is about everyday stuff because I know God is ready to help me navigate everything.

When I heard of my diagnosis and again when I heard of my daughter’s diagnosis I naturally turned to God and shared my heart.  I shared and continue to share my disappointment, my hurt, my anger and my fears.  My conversations with God lead me to a more peaceful place.  Knowing that He loves me enough to have made a way for me to live with him causes me to think that he must certainly care about my future.  I don’t always like the answers he provides, or where our conversations lead, but I do know that he always wants what is best for me.  He centers me on this simple truth; that while most of the time I think I know what’s best for me, he always knows what is best for me.  He is absolute and he knows me; I trust him.

Throughout life, even my brain tumor journeys, God has used many different experiences and people in my life to give me strength and courage to put one foot in front of the other.  Certainly some days are more difficult than others.  But just like any relationship it either grows if I invest in it, or it declines if I neglect it.  My relationship, my prayer life, my spiritual journey with God is my strength and he gets me through each day.